


What Will Happen in The End?

by Sofia_25



Category: Bakuten Shoot Beyblade, Beyblade
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 03:27:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4650528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sofia_25/pseuds/Sofia_25
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>10 years have passed since that first kiss between Kai and Tyson. Now 8 years have passed since the last time they saw each other but now this is going to change. And the real question is: What will happen after 10 years of that first kiss between them? TysonxKai</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Flashback:**

_**November. Year 2004.** _

_Tyson = 17 years old_

_Kai = 18 years old_

It all began one day in November, it was a normal day, another day in which Max was having a party at his house, well maybe it wasn't a normal day after all, they were in a party, celebrating anything in particular, but they were having fun that was for sure.

The guys, Rei, Max, Daichi, Tyson, Kenny and Kai were in the party as well as others good friends of them and of course as in every party at that age, there was that other good friend named alcohol.

Everything was going normal, it was 2 in the morning already, Kai and Tyson had drunk maybe a little too much, they were laughing about thing that weren't even funny, they were totally drunk, and to be honest it was not normal on them they weren't used to drinking till the point of being drunk, so it was unusual in them and they were feeling dizzy.

When they realized how bad they really were, they decided to go out and take some air, they went out of the house and sit outside on a place that they found to be comfortable, there was no one outside apart from them, the night was cold and they were sitting right next to each other, pretty close actually, it was not the first time they were sitting like that after all they have been friend for a long time now. Inside the house the party was still going, everybody was having a good time and was having fun.

I believe there is something really important that I should mention, Kai had a crush on Tyson and Tyson had a crush in Kai as well, but none of them knew what the other felt., it was a secret in both sides, after all it wasn't normal for a guy to feel attracted to another guy, or at least that was what the majority of the world thought. What is normal for a guy is to like a girl, not a boy. It was hard for them at first to feel what they were feeling, they try to deny it to themselves but they failed at doing that. They weren't homosexuals; they actually liked girls and had never felt attracted to another guy except from Tyson, in Kai's case and Kai, in Tyson's case. It was actually an estrange situation and that was what it was harder for them to understand what was happening with their feelings.

Now, back to the day of the party, Kai and Tyson were side by side, sitting really close to each other, talking about who knows what, in the state that they were, people talk about everything, even Kai, who wasn't a guy that talked too much, was talking a lot actually

They were having a great time, talking about life in general and enjoying the fresh air of the night, far away from the music and the party atmosphere. Kai was feeling really dizzy, as I said before he wasn´t used to alcohol, neither was Tyson, but who knows why that day they decided to drink more than they should have

At that moment Kai decided to tell Tyson "I'm a little dizzy"

then Tyson told him " Yeah, me too, and besides I'm freezing"

After hearing this Kai had the wonderful idea to hug Tyson to warm him up a little, well at least that was the perfect excuse to be even closer to the one he really liked, and besides he was freezing as well so that will warm him up as well.

"Better?" Kai asked him

"Yeah, much better" Tyson answered smiling and looking at Kai in the eyes

Kai smiled back at him, both of them were blushing, but were too drunk to realize it. They stayed like that for a long time, talking, hugging, and enjoying the moment and the contact. Without even noticing it, their heads were pretty close; therefore, their lips were really close as well.

Kai noticed the distance between them, they were so close, he couldn't stop looking at Tyson's lips, he was hypnotize by them, looking at how they moved every time that Tyson spoke, there was moment in which Kai had no idea what Tyson was saying, he was just looking at him and whishing he could just kiss those beautiful lips, that was not new anyways, he always wanted to kiss his friend mouth, but taking into account the state in which he was the desire was even bigger . Without noticing it Kai was licking and biting his own lips with want, he was so concentrated looking into Tyson's face, specially his mouth. At that moment:

"Kai are you listening to me?" Tyson said

Kai realized that Tyson was actually asking him a question, looked at him surprised and said

"What? Sorry I was .., what did you asked me? "

Tyson realized while he was talking that for a long time he had been the only one who was talking and that Kai was just smiling at him with that smile that he loved so much, especially when it was directed to him, he also notice that Kai wasn't looking at the horizon anymore and was actually looking at him, but he wasn't looking at his eyes, 'is he looking at my mouth?' Tyson thought. Besides he realized that Kai was not playing attention to him since he had asked something to him and he didn't even answer.

Realizing that definitely Kai wasn't hearing a thing he was saying and was actually looking at his mouth and because of the effects of the alcohol, he decided to do something he never thought he would ever do in his life, he tilted his head, close his eyes, and without even thinking what he was doing, he kiss him. He did what he had wanted to do so many times before but didn't because he never had the guts to do it before and because he was afraid.

Kai responded to the kiss without understanding what was really happening 'Why is Tyson the one who is kissing me this time?' Kai though. Then he decided not to think anymore and enjoy the moment, there will be a lot of time to think, to regret, and to think a little more but now it was the moment to enjoy, it was a unique moment, who knows if this was going to happen again, so he decided to shut his mind down and kiss Tyson.

Tyson couldn't believe what he had done but what really shocked him was the fact that Kai was kissing him as well instead of pushing him away and tells him to leave. 'however if he does that, he would be being very hypocrite" Tyson thought but then stop thinking and just kiss him.

The kiss became more intense, until they had to break away, gasping for air, they were looking at each other with such intensity in that moment. After the kiss, Tyson try to apologize but Kai shut him up with another kiss.

Inside the house everything was like before, no one was aware of what was happening outside, everybody was on their own world enjoying the party and talking, some of them, specially their best friends had noticed theabsence of Kai and Tyson but they had seen them going outside to take some air so nobody asked anything, after all it wasn't rare to see the two of them together, they were all good friends, but lately Kai and Tyson were getting closer, they had started to spend more and more time together than before .

**Tyson POV**

We were at Max's party, I was a little drunk and I don't even know why I had drunk so much, it is not usual on me, Kai was as drunk as me or even more so we decided to go outside the house to take some air, I remember telling him that was cold, just as comment, I never thought he was going to hug me at that moment to keep me warm I'm not complaining, it's more I loved it when he did that, I think I even blushed a little, it might sound rare but I have had a crush on Kai for a long time now, well anyway, now we are sitting next to each other, outside Max's house, one of Kai's arms is around me and one of mine is around Kai, we are pretty close to each other, it's a real good feeling being here with him like this, I feel like a fifteen years old girl when her crush hug her, with the difference that I'm not a girl and I'm not fifteen, anyway, we are talking now, well I'm talking, Kai stopped talking a few minutes ago, he is just listening, I think, he is just looking at me and smiling, what a wonderful smile he has, agh,, again I'm feeling like a girl, but I can't help it I just like it so much when he smile like that, I believe he isn't listening to me, he is just so quiet, oh wait, Is he looking at my mouth?, no, impossible, I'm hallucinating, he may be thinking about something, well, let's see if he hears me…

"Kai, what time is it?" there was no answers

"Kai are you listening to me?" of course not but I had to ask it anyway

"What? Sorry I was .., what did you asked me? " he told me. And definitely he wasn't playing attention to what I was saying, however, now that I think about it I don't even know what I was telling him, it wasn't something important for sure, but I was talking to no one, it's frustrating to know that.

Oh, we are so fucking close, I haven't noticed that before, now that I look at him our mouths are so fucking close too, I'm dying to give him a kiss, what a beautiful mouth he has…. OMG what I have I done? I kiss him, I can't believe it, what I'm doing? I don't know, I might be crazy, what happened to my self-control? Oh yeah it disappeared with the alcohol. Oh god, I want to scream and turn back time, what have I done? Ruin my friendship with Kai forever? But wait, why is he kissing me back? What's going on? I don't understand anything, why didn't he push me away? Why is he kissing me? I'm so confused, but who cares about confusion?

Fuck the confusion, this might be the best moment of my life, I'm sitting beside Kai and we are kissing, what else can I ask for? At this moment I think that nothing, it feels like a dream, I'm in heaven, I'm not cold anymore, I do not feel the cold, the only thing I feel now are Kai's lips against mine, and it's the best feeling in the world, it's something I have never felt before, I had kissed girls before, of course, but I have never felt what I'm feeling right now, it's incredible , I have never been this turned on in my life while kissing someone, this feels so fucking good, and he is such a great kisser. Oh god, this is paradise.

I hope this whole situation ends up well, at least I want us to remain friends, I don't want him to be my boyfriend either, I like him, yeah, I like him a lot actually, but I don't know, that would be a little rare.

This is so wrong, I mean a boy kissing a boy, this is totally wrong, but at the same time it feels so good it's hard to believe that it's actually wrong. I better enjoy this moment and stop thinking too much…

Now I'm scared, we aren't kissing anymore, he is breathing heavily, so do I, and my heart is pounding for fear and because of the kiss, it's a mixture of different feelings and I still don't understand anything.

I think this time is my turn to talk first; after all I was the one who started the kiss, not him.

"K..K…Kai" I can't even speak, don't know what to say, I'm so scared and I don't even know why, I'm totally confused, suddenly I'm feeling more sober than ever and five minutes ago I was feeling drunker than ever, I think I need another drink, I'm hating myself right now. Oh, he is looking at me and I can see he is as confused as I am, his smile is gone now, he looks so serious but at least I can't see any anger in his eyes or anything that shows me that our friendship is over now, that's a good sign, I hope.

He is not talking either, oh I should say something, it's getting a little awkward, come on Tyson, you can do it, it's not that hard just open your mouth and said something.. here I go..

"K.. Kai, I don't know what to say, I'm sorry, I just got caught up in the moment, I'm sor... " What? Is he kissing me? He is not angry, he is actually kissing me, I must be dreaming, this is unbelievable.

I don't know why I'm so shocked and surprised about what is happening, I mean, there has been a lot of insinuations and flirting between us, however I just took those comments that he sometime did as a joke and I know that he took mine as a joke too, but I never thought I would ever be able to kiss him like I did today.

"Don't say you are sorry, there is nothing to forgive" He told me, he is so serious; he is looking at me so vividly. He looks at me like that and I feel I'm dying from emotions I can't even contain any more, I really like him, I can't hide it anymore, I won't hide it anymore, be brave Tyson.

"Its fine Tyson, don't worry, I get it, it was just because of the alcohol" I remember those last seven words that he said and while listening to them I can feel a huge pain in my chest and now I am noticing something in his eyes is that Sadness? Hurt? I'm not sure and that makes the pain grow even more.

"I was caught up in the moment as well" He continued as seriously as before, he move his arm from, me, we are not hugging anymore, now I feel cold again, I feel empty now I have to say something to make it all good again, I don't want him to look at me like that, well, now he is not looking at me anymore , I have to tell him how I really feel about him, can't hide this anymore, and now I know have the courage to say it.

"No, Kai it wasn't just the alcohol, and I think you know it, I'm tired of hiding what I really feel"

"Tyson.." I didn't let him finished what he wanted to said, now I know he feels the same, if not he wouldn't have kissed me, I'm not afraid of rejection or losing him as friend anymore, because I know that won't happened, I can't lose this chance, this is now or never .

"Kai, listen to me, please, it wasn't because of the alcohol, yes it helped, if it wasn't because I was drunk I would have never done it, I know that, but.. but.. Kai I just wanna tell you that.." I don't even know how to say it, he is not serious anymore, he is just smiling, with that beautiful smile that kills me, and his eyes are no longer sad or confused. Those eyes just are showing Happiness? I'm not a professional eyes' reader but Kai's expression have always been so obvious, If he is happy or sad you can notice that just by looking at his face.

I think it would be better just to show him what I feel, and that is what I'm doing now, I'm kissing him, I'm trying to show him everything I feel for him in this kiss.

This kiss is more intense than the others, it's full of love and passion I can feel that he feels the same as I me. I think I'm starting to believe that sometimes words are no necessary to express what you feel, sometimes actions speak louder than words, I m starting to understand that phrase, and it's true, I can feel in my heart and my whole body that Kai feels the same even though neither of us has expressed that in words.

I don't know what will happen tomorrow, and I don't even know if want to know what will happen tomorrow when we'll be totally sober and remembering this. I just want to enjoy this moment and Kai's company I don't wanna think about the future.

**Normal POV**

After a while, they returned to the party, it was 3:30 in the morning, inside the house everything was like before, well, almost everything, Kenny was pretty drunk and was the center of attention of several of the guests some of them where even laughing about him , he would hardly remember anything the next day, and more considering that it was the first time in his life that he was that drunk, but well that party was different it seems like a lot of people had drunk more than usual.

Rei was flirting and talking with a girl, Max and Daichi were talking with some friend so Tyson decided to go with them and pretend that nothing had happened before, Kai went with other friends and then tried to stop Kenny from keeping embarrassing himself. When the party was over the only ones who stayed were Kenny, Daichi, Kai, Rei, Tyson and Max as they were Max's best friends they stayed helping him to clean everything, talking about the party and other thing, taking care of Kenny, that was in pretty bad, conditions and asking Rei uncomfortable questions about the girl he was with till they went to sleep, well at least four of them went to sleep, Kai and Tyson could stop thinking about what had happened that day, they both were thinking that what they had done was in some point wrong, it wasn't normal for a guy to like a guy at least not normal for a lot of people and even more in those years. However they were really happy about what had happened, it was something both of them had wanted for a long time, but they couldn't stop thinking about what would happen the next day.

**Kai POV**

Yesterday was max´s party; we are still at his house, it's 2 pm and they are all sleeping. Yesterday I drank a little too much, yeah, definitely more than usual, but I remember everything, I remember being outside with Tyson, I remember hugging him because he was cold, I remember that he kissed me and I kissed him and then he kiss me again and we were kissing, hugging and talking for a long time after that, I was so happy at that moment, I never thought that would actually happen one day, I have had a crush on Tyson for a long time now, and kissing him was the best thing ever, however after we went inside the house I didn't saw him until the party was over and we were cleaning the house , we haven't talked about us yet, we were all just talking about the party and making fun of Rei. I'm so confused now, does he remember what happen? After all he was pretty drunk before we were outside and for what I could see when we were talking after the party was over, it seemed like he kept drinking after we enter the house.

Anyways I'm confused because I can't believe that he actually kissed me, the whole night was like a dream come true, I'm not a romantic guy but Tyson sometimes makes me feel as if I was a thirteen years old girl in love and that was how I was feeling yesterday, this is ridiculous. I don't know what will happen today or tomorrow and what is worst is that I don't even know if I want to know it, I dunno what I want to happen neither, I'm scared, not knowing what the future will hold is not nice at all and besides What will people think about us? Well I don't really care about what people say but What would my dad say? What would my Grandpa say? And what about our friends, what would they think about us? This is so wrong, so wrong, yesterday shouldn't have happened, thing were fine the way they were, I know it's going to hurt, what I feel for Tyson is real and even more after what happened yesterday feeling his lips against, mine was the best sensation in the world, kissing other girls was nothing compared to what I felt while kissing Tyson, however I believe that the best thing would be to forget everything about that night, it will hurt I know, and besides I don't even know if Tyson remember what happen or if he wants to remember, everything he said yesterday has no meaning, we were both drunk, so, yeah forgetting everything would the best, I'm sure …


	2. Chapter 2

_**April, 2004** _

**Kai POV**

Ten years has passed since that day in Max´s house when I kissed Tyson for the first time, well actually that was the second time to be honest, anyway, ten years of that fucking day that change my life forever . Sometimes I wish I could turn back time and change that day completely, that would have saved me so much pain, I know that if that kiss hadn't happened it'd have been easier for me to forget him. I'm sure of that, but at the same time I can't completely regret it, every moment that I was with him will always be in my heart and mind for the rest of my life. It's difficult, almost impossible to forget someone that you loved and love with all you heart.

I remember the day after the kiss I was the first one to wake up, I was scared, totally confused, I didn't know what to say, I thought that the best thing will be to forget everything, I was not ready to see Tyson again, I didn't know if Tyson remembered the previous night and besides I wasn't ready to face reality, so I get up and told Max's dad that I had to go and so I did.

I saw Tyson again two days after that, I tried to avoid him or looking at him the whole day and he noticed that and with all the courage that I couldn't find in me that day he told me:

"Kai, I want to tell you something, alone" I felt a huge pain in my chest at that moment, I believed that my face was showing all the panic I had because then he said:

"Calm down Kai, don't put that face, it's nothing bad, I think"

Then we went to a place where no one could hear what we were talking

"What's the matter?" I asked him after a few seconds of him not saying anything

"Nothing, it's just that... that we can't keep on going like if nothing had happened when we both know it happened" He told me, I could see that he was nervous.

I looked at the ground without knowing what to say; suddenly I had forgotten how to speak, I opened and closed my mouth without saying anything.

"Kai I don't want thing to get uncomfortable between us, if you want to pretend that it never happened, it's fine, I get it" He told me when he realized I was not going to say anything

I could see that he was hurt, and that hurts me as well, I didn't want Tyson to be sad and hurt and less if it was because of me, so I told him:

"Tyson, I don't really want to pretend it never happened, it's just, that it's not easy, I even though that you wouldn't remember anything, but I see I was wrong"

"Believe me, everything I said that night was true and…" and again I forgot how to speak

"Kai, I do remember everything about that night, yeah I was drunk but not that drunk and.. and, the thing that said were true as well" he interrupted me when he realized I was not going to continue

"And, it's not easy for me, it wasn't easy for me to accepted what I feel for you, I tried to stop it but I couldn't help it Kai"

He said those last words whispering.

"Tyson the problem is that I haven't accepted it myself yet" I told him that without even wanting to say it.

He then looked at me and I could see that tears were forming in his eyes, I felt like the worst person in the world at that moment so I said:

"Sorry, Tyson give me time and I will be able to accept it, I know that" he smile at that moment and I melt

"Just please give me time, I am scared, I don't even know what's going on with me, please just give me time and believe me, everything I said at Max's party was true" I told him

"Its fine Kai, really, I'm going to wait as long as I have to, there is no problem, and besides there is no need to tell anyone about this, I mean it can be our secret" He told me and then continue

"To be honest I don't want anyone to know this. I want it to be a secret, I don't want we to act like boyfriends either" At least we think the same about that, I thought

"But after what happened the other day it will be hard for me to control myself when I am around you" he told me laughing

"Same here, for all the thing that you said before" I told him with an smile on my face and he smiled back.

I wanted to kiss him so badly at that moment and I almost do, but I realized there were a lot of people around us so I had to keep the want for myself.

After that day our relationship went like this:

We just kissed each other or acted like a couple when we were totally alone, however sometime when we were alone we acted like friends as well, and we were fine with that.

When we were with the other guys we just acted like friends it was nice to have Tyson as friend and as lover at the same time. Those were the best two years of my life, I can't lie, I was so fucking happy and everything seemed to be so perfect. Those memories of him and I will be forever in my heart like something you just can't take off even if you try. Many years have passed and I still can't forget him.

The only one who knew about our secret relationship was Max, he once saw us kissing, and he never said anything to anyone, I'm sure about that.

Now I am 27 years old and it's been 8 years since the last time I spoke to him, 8 years since that fucking day when we said goodbye, 8 years since that fucking day that destroyed my life completely, 8 years since the day I will never forget, I was nineteen, he was eighteen, it was summer in 2007, we were about to start the university and we were sure that we couldn't go on like that, not anymore. It wasn't easy to hide what we felt for each other anymore and neither of us was ready to tell their families so we decided that the best thing will be not to see each other again and so we did.

I haven't seen him since that day, well not, actually I saw him two year after that, Rei was in Japan for a few days, I hadn't seen him in a few months Daichi was having a party at his house, I knew Tyson was going but I couldn't not go, what I was not expecting was seeing him with his girlfriend at that moment, now ex- wife, I remember that I was talking with Max and Daichi when I saw him kissing her, I could feel how my heart was breaking into a million pieces, then he look at me but I couldn't figure out the expression on his face and then he kept talking with her and I couldn't have a better idea than drink, drink and drink a little more of alcohol.

And that was the last time I saw him, almost five year have passed, once in a while a messenger that says happy birthday or a letter of congratulation for you first child or an invitation to a wedding arrive or are sent but that was the only contact we have had in 8 years.

I don't know too much about his life but sometimes Max or Rei told me something about him, I tried to act like if I don't care, but I'm sure I failed every time. Those comments are always "Tyson has a girlfriend" "Tyson is going to get married" "Tyson's wife is pregnant" "Tyson has graduated" "Tyson is living in another house now" "Tyson and her wife are going to divorce" Comments that are lost in the air and never got to be a conversation.

With the other guys I'm still in contact I saw them once in a while, when we are free and not working.

I think that it's time to stop talking about the past and start talking about the present.

I'm trapped in a marriage that makes me totally unhappy, I'm still with her just because of our daughter, yeah, I have a three years old daughter who I love with all my heart. My marriage and my life are a disaster; I believe I have never been this unhappy in my life. My wife cheats on me all the time, I cheat on her as well and I feel no guilt about that. I'm pretty sure she is with one of his lovers right now, she told me she will be all day at a friend's house and I know that's not true, I saw her friend when I was coming home and she wasn't with her, I didn't even had the luck of marrying a woman who is smart enough to cover his infidelity, she doesn't know that I know about her infidelity and I'm sure she has no idea I cheat on her too.

There is no more affection between us, when we are together the only thing we do is fight and scream, I'm starting to hate her.

A few minutes ago I put our daughter to sleep, I looked at her and I couldn't believe she was mine and hers daughter, she is so nice, so innocent, so sweet. Sometimes I'm afraid, afraid of her growing up like us, I'm afraid she will never find real love and will surfer what I'm suffering right now. I'm afraid she will do what we are doing now and will cheat on her husband I'm terrified about those thing, I don't want her to be like us, it's unfair for her, she didn't chose her parents, it's so unfair for her to never see their parents as a couple, she only saw us fighting and arguing.

I can't even believe in what I have become, being unfaithful was never a thing I would´ve thought about doing before, I don't even know why I do it, maybe it's for revenge, I'm not sure to be honest, but some time the opportunity is there and I can't say no.

Now I'm sitting on the floor against a wall, with a bottle of an alcoholic beverage half empty at my side, and I have a perfect view of a stupid photo frame that Daichi put there last week claiming that I didn't have any picture of them on my wall, in the picture I can see myself, Daichi, Kenny, Max, Tyson and Rei, it's an old picture, I think it was taken in 2005, I was still with Tyson at that moment, I still remember that day, how many memories that picture brings me, it's hard not to smile now that I am looking at it, I was so happy back then, but it's even harder not to want to cry seeing how everything has change.

And I'm thinking about Tyson again, so many memories. And now I remember that day two months before saying goodbye, we were at Kenny's house; it was a party, a lot of our friends where there some of them that we hadn't seen in months or even years but we didn't care about them, the only thing we cared about was being together we knew that the day of saying goodbye was near, we were hidden behind a tree, sitting side by side, his head was on my shoulder and my head was against his head we were talking and suddenly he told something I will never forget..

"Kai, I know that in a few months this is going to be over, we had already talked about it, and we agreed that it was the best for both of us"

At that moment he looked at me and continued:

"I..I.. I just want you to know that whatever happens in the future, I will never forget this, us, those two last years, and specially I will never forget what I feel for you, I swore "

I felt a lump in my throat after hearing those worlds, I could feel a tear fell down my face and when I tried to speak I couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

"Same here Tyson, same here" That was the only thing I could said while my face was in tears.

He then hugged me, he was crying as well, we stayed like that for a long time, crying but enjoying the moment at the same time, enjoying the fact that we were together.

I remember that conversation and now a tear is falling down my cheek, I blame the alcohol for my condition, like I always did when someone saw me crying. I still keep that promise; I haven't forgotten him and never will.

I swallow hard and try to think about other thing but the only thing that comes to mind is another memory that destroys me, the day that I received Tyson's wedding invitation, it was in 2010, I did not attend to the wedding, of course, I couldn't see the one I love marrying another person, I told max to tell him that I wasn't going to go, that I have and important work meeting even though it wasn't a lie, I could have gone anyway, but I didn't want to.

I remember that Max brought me the invitation; as soon as I saw him I knew he was going to tell me something about Tyson, he had that face, that face of pity and compassion that he always has when he is going to tell me something about Tyson. That day he gave me the invitation and without saying too much he left, I believe he thought that I wanted to be alone and he was right, I felt the world crumbling down over me, I didn't know what to do, I was devastated. If thought I had gotten over him, at that moment I realized that wasn't true, I felt that huge pain in my chest that I hate so much.

By that time I was already with Hina, my actual wife, I loved her at that moment, but not even her in our best times could made me forget about Tyson, I didn't think about him when I was with her but when I was alone sometimes I couldn't stop thinking things like What's he doing now? Where is he? Does he still remember what he told me that day at Kenny's house? And others questions that will never have an answer.

A few months after the wedding invitation, news arrived again; he was going to be a father, I was happy for him but at the same time I wanted to scream and cry, that time Rei was the one who gave me the news, once when he came to my house. Before I married, Rei always used to stay at my house when he was in Japan; I had an empty room so there was no need for him to pay a hotel.

I didn't mention it before but Rei knows about what happened between me and Tyson, I told him that day at Daichi's house when I saw Tyson with his girlfriend. Rei is a good friend; he had always been there when I needed him, I'm not saying that the other guys weren't there for me, it's just, that Rei was always there when I need him the more just by pure coincidence and that day when he told me about Tyson being a father was one of those days, I didn't wanted to be alone and he was there for me trying to cheering me up.

I wish someone was here with right now, not even my wife is here, she might be fucking one of his lovers right now, my daughter is sleeping and besides I don't want her to see me in this state so miserable, I could call someone but its 12:20 am, its late, normal people of my age are sleeping now, not crying because their own life is a shit.

I try to remember the first time I told him "I love you" and I remember that I never told him that, I never had the guts to tell him that and I regret it so fucking much, I knew he knew that I loved him but I never say those worlds to him, I wish I could turn back time and tell him that I loved him with all my heart. He told me that he loved me a few times and the only thing I did was kissing him and showing him through the kiss what I felt. I have those three words stuck in my throat wanting to be said just to him.

I have told that woman who some people call my wife and cheats on me that I loved her but I never had the fucking courage to tell the only person I have love for more than 8 years that I love him and that hurts, my cowardice hurts me, the fact that I waste those three words that means so much with a woman that is not worth it, that is what hurts me the most.

I remember back when I was nineteen or eighteen and Tyson was by my side, we were still teenagers, we were young, everything was easier, everything was perfect, I was so happy but I remember that at that moment everything seemed to be so complicated we thought that what we had wouldn't work out in the end, we thought that the best thing for us was not to see each other again, now I know I was totally wrong, everything was easier back then, I was not married, I didn't have a daughter, at that moment I didn't have a four year old child telling me totally proud "my daddy is a hero" What would think that child if he knew that his hero used to love a man? What would my daughter think? What would Hina think? Would she let me still see our daughter? I don't really know, everything is so much more complicated now, we are not eighteen anymore.

I said that I haven't seen him in 8 years right? Well, I lied, because…  _ **yesterday I saw him**_...


	3. Chapter 3

April, 2014.

Flashback: One day ago (The day of the reunion)

Normal POV

It was a day like every other day, the weather was pretty good, it wasn't cold neither was hot, it was a perfect day. And well maybe it wasn't just a normal day because...

A few weeks ago Max had bought a new house and that day was the perfect day to celebrate the purchase of the new house so he held a party there. This new acquisition was the perfect excuse to invite everyone to his house and meet again a lot of old friends that he hadn't seen in a long time and that's what he did.

The house was pretty big and it had a large backyard so the guests had plenty of room to be comfortable and enjoyed the nice reunion with friends. This party had been planned for a long time; even before buying the house Max's was planning this meeting. He wanted to make sure that most of the guests could go, taking into account that a lot of them lived in another country.

Everyone was invited; friends from school with whom he still keeps in touch, friends from the university, friends from work, ex-beybladers that were still his friends, The White Tiger, Majestics, The All Starz, etc. and of course among these friends were his best friends: Daichi, Rei, Kenny, Kai and Tyson. Even his mom was there. A lot of the guests went with their children, partner, wives, husbands, etc.

So it was basically a reunion that someone couldn't miss and that's why Tyson and Kai decided to go even though they knew the other will go as well, besides a lot of time have passed since the last time they saw each other, it was time to forget the past and start from scratch, that was what they thought, 8 years was enough time to be able to forget the past, the feelings that they had for each other now were not supposed to be the same as when they were 18 years old . Don't they say that time heals everything? They both believed that they were ready to see each other again and maybe it was time to finally recover their friendship or at least talk a little and catch up with their lives. Anyway let's come back to what it's important, the moment when they saw each other after 8 years of not talking to each other and 5 years without seeing each other...

Kai was talking with Max, Kenny and Daichi, the majority of the guests weren't in the house yet, Tyson had met with Mao, Lee and Rei at the door so he stayed a little bit there talking with them, after a while he decided to find Max, say hello and congrats him for the house since it had been Max's mother the one who opened the door, and besides he wanted to say hello to the other guys as well. Internally Tyson was wishing that Kai hadn't arrived yet, he was not ready to see him again, he didn't know what to do, what to said, how to react but soon he realized that his wish didn't come true as he saw Kai talking with the others as soon as he was near them.

"Kai, Where is Hina?" Kenny asked when he noticed her absence.

Kai had only arrived with his daughter, Sara, who was now playing in the backyard with Max's current girlfriend and her little sister.

"The truth is that I have no idea, she knew about the party, it was getting late and she wasn't at home so I decide to come anyway" Kai said it trying to hide the sadness that he was feeling at confessing he had no idea where his wife was.

"Oh" Was everything Kenny was able to say. Kai had told them that thing between them weren't okay so it was not a secret, however he had never told them about his or her infidelity. He wasn't proud about what he was doing neither was proud about the fact he was a cuckold so he just didn't want anyone to know it, not even his best friends.

"But, to be honest, I'm glad she is not here, as you know thing are not really good between us" Kai said a little sad but convinced that what he was saying was true.

At that moment Kai felt someone tugging on his trousers gently to call his attention and one second after that, he heard a little voice that was telling him:

"H-hi Are you Kai?" Kai looked down to see the one who was talking to him and as soon as he looked at him he knew who he was, he was Tyson's son.

When he saw him Kai's heart stopped for a moment. The kid was an exact replica, but a little younger, of his father when Kai first met him so many years ago. Kai was paralyzed for a few seconds till he realizes that the kid had asked him a question.

"Ye-yeah, it's me And whom do I have the pleasure to meet?" Kai asked.

"My name is Makoto, I am four years old and I am the son of an old friend of yours" Makoto told him smiling.

"It's a pleasure to meet you" Makoto told Kai.

"The pleasure is all mine Makoto" Kai told him a little bit confuse about the fact that Tyson's son knew him but then he remembered that one time when Daichi told him that Tyson's son had found a picture of all of them and had asked about him.

"Hi Makoto, you have finally met the great Kai Hiwatari" Daichi told him.

"Hi, uncles I didn't see you" Makoto told them greeting Max, Kenny and Daichi.

"Shh, now he is talking with me" Kai told Daichi laughing because of his previous comment.

"And where is your dad?" Kai asked him a little nervous.

Tyson was just a few steps away from them watching the scene with attention; Kai was so concentrated on Makoto that he didn't even notice Tyson's presence.

"There he is" Makoto said pointing to where his father was.

At that moment Kai took a deep breath and raised his head to look in the direction that Makoto had pointed. And that was when they saw each other again and the world seemed to stop for them, their eyes finally met again after 8 years but suddenly a voice interrupted the moment.

"I had been waiting to meet you for a long time" Makoto told him smiling from ear to ear.

"Oh, really? Why?" Kai asked really surprised.

"A few months ago I saw a picture of you with my dad and my fake uncles and you seemed to be pretty cool and as you were the only one I didn't know I really wanted to meet you"

Upon hearing this Tyson felt a mixture between guilt, pain and sadness.

"I wish someone had told me that a cool kid like you wanted to meet me, I would have come to see you immediately" Kai told him.

Makoto's eyes were shining with admiration and happiness for what Kai had told him.

"Others friend of my dad had told me a lot of old stories about my dad, do you have any stories you can tell me?"

At that moment Tyson coursed the fact that his son knew how to talk so well at the age of four, Makoto is young but he talks really well and a lot too; sometimes it looks like he can't be silent not even for a second. The truth was that Kai had a lot of stories to tell about Tyson and Tyson always hate when his friends told his son embarrassing stories about him.

"I actually have a lot of funny stories about your dad to tell you, but for now I'm just going to tell you one of my favorites" Kai said.

"Yes please tell me" Makoto said really excited.

"Listen carefully because it's actually my favorite story about your dad and the best of all of them"

Tyson was a little nervous he didn't really know what Kai was going to tell to his son.

Makoto looked at Kai anxious and concentrating all his attention on what Kai was going to tell him.

"It all started when you father and I were younger, we were like 13 years old, I was a lonely kid, I used to be a bad person and acted in a rude way" Kai told him introducing the story he was going to tell.

"One day I hurt your dad a lot and the other guys as well, I betrayed them in beyblade tournament, I suppose you know what it is Right?"

"Yes, I know, they had told me a lot of stories about that" Makoto said.

"Well, I told them a lot of awful thing but especially to your dad, we were in another country, the place was full with ice and suddenly the ice breaks leaving me in the middle of an ice block with just water around me and your dad was the one who rescued me, despite the bad thing I had told them before, giving me his hand to help me, your daddy save my life and not just because of that, meeting him change my life completely after that I stopped being a bad person to be someone better and all thanks to your dad" Kai said with some tears in his eyes.

"My daddy is a hero" Makoto said happily.

At that instant Kai turned his head to look at Tyson in the eyes; both of them had tears in their eyes, remembering that day and others things that happened between them in the past was not easy for neither of them. They stared at each other only for a few seconds but it was enough, enough to see the pain in the other's eyes, enough to know that it was going to be impossible to forget the other one, enough to realized how much they had really missed each other, enough to realized how wrong they were when they decided to not see each other again, enough to know that what they felt for each other was still there and will never vanish.

"Yeah, he is" Kai told Makoto after a while.

"Why nobody had told me anything about that so emotive story before?" Daichi asked trying to break the sudden tension that was beginning to appear in the place and because it was true that no one had told him anything about that.

Daichi knew nothing about Tyson and Kai's past relationship but it has always been weird for him the fact that they had stopped talking to each other overnight, he didn't even imagine the truth about that, but he was sure that something had to have happen for them to stop talking, after all they were best friends back then and they were always together.

On the other side there was Kenny; no one has ever told him anything about their relationship however he has been suspecting about the truth for a long time, after all he was a very intelligent person so he came to the conclusion that Tyson and Kai felt something for each other but it was just a hypothesis, well at least till that day, now he is 97% sure that his Hypothesis is true.

And lastly there was Max, the only one who really knew the truth and knew what was happening and the only one that could notice that what they felt for each other in the past was still there even though both of them had tried to hide it for years.

"Because you never asked about our past Daichi" Max told him.

At that moment Makoto asked something to Kai:

"Can I give you a hug Kai?" He asked him a little embarrassed.

"Of course you can Makoto" Kai said opening his arms to hug him.

Tyson was watching the scene felling even guiltier than before and with a lump in his throat that he couldn't get it out.

Kenny and Daichi were observing the scene with happiness owing to the fact that they knew how much that moment meant to Makoto, the kid had been totally obsessed with Kai since the moment he saw that picture and he couldn't stop asking thing about him.

Max was watching the scene with a mixture between happiness for the same reason as his other two friends and sadness because he knew that the situation was not easy neither for Tyson nor Kai.

And finally there was Kai who was living the situation in an emotional way and was feeling a little guilty for not being in this kid's life who admires him so much before.

"Thanks; I couldn't wait to meet you and talk to you" Makoto told Kai with a lot of happiness.

At that moment Max realized that it was time to go and say hello to the few people that had arrived in that time and let Tyson and Kai alone thus he used the excuse of seeing Rei to call his others friends' attention and let Kai and Tyson alone.

"He has been obsessing with meeting you since he saw an old picture of us" Tyson said a little nervous and speaking for the first time since he was there.

Kai look at him and smiled, Tyson smiled back and for a moment everything was like before, as if they were 17/18 years old again, as if they were still together and happy, as if they had never been separated, as if 8 years hadn't really passed since the last time they talked to each other, as if they were about to compete in a beyblade match and smiling at each other before launching the beyblades, as if nothing had changed but Makoto's voice made them come back to reality .

"Yeah, I hope to see you more often," Makoto told him.

"The same goes for me Makoto" Kai told him smiling, however he wasn't sure if he was going to see him again, it all depended on what Tyson wanted.

Tyson wasn't sure if Kai was saying this just to make his son happy or because he really wanted to see Makoto again so he decided to change the subject.

"Well, you have already met my child I think now is my turn to meet your daughter and wife" Tyson told Kai scratching his head nervously. However the truth was that Tyson had no real interest in meeting the woman who has married the love of his life but he thought it was correct to say it anyway.

"Yes, you´re right, but there is a little problem, mi wife is not here, I just came with Sara, my daughter" Kai said.

Tyson felt relieved to hear that Kai´s wife wasn't there and he didn't even bother to ask why she wasn't there, the truth was that he really didn't care.

"You have a daughter?" Where is she?" Makoto asked.

"Yes I do, she is one year younger than you and she is outside but don't expect her to be as talkative as you are, she is quiet and doesn't speak so well yet" Kai told him.

"I want to meet her" Makoto said smiling.

They went where Sara was, Kai called his daughter who was still playing with Max's girlfriend. Then Max's girlfriend greeted Tyson and Makoto and went inside to look for her boyfriend.

Kai introduced them and then Sara and Makoto left to play around the backyard leaving Tyson and Kai alone talking for a while.

"Your daughter is really beautiful, I'm sure she took after his mother" Tyson told him jokingly

"Very funny Kinomiya, by the way your son looks exactly like you" Kai told him looking at him in the eyes.

Every time they look at each other it was as if the whole world stopped and they were the only ones there and both of them could feel their hearts beating rapidly.

"And he is very respectful; for sure he got that from his mother" Kai told him returning the joke.

Tyson laughed but then he got serious and said:

"Many years have passed, haven't they?" He said with sadness in his voice.

"8 years without talking, 5 without seeing each other Tyson" Kai said swallowing the lump in his throat.

After that they were silent for a moment till Tyson spoke again

"Thank you for what you did earlier with Makoto, he really was looking forward to meeting you"

"You shouldn't have to say thanks to me, it was not a favor and besides I really want to see him again" Kai told him politely.

"Tyson I still remember what we talked about not seeing each other again all those years ago but too much time has already passed, seeing your son made me realized that, I don't know, that maybe it's time to leave the past behind and recover our friendship somehow What do you think?. Kai added.

"I was thinking exactly the same; I don't know anything about you Kai apart from you being married and having a daughter"

"And I don't know anything about you either, just the basics stuff" Kai said.

"I think it's time to start from scratch, don't you think?"Kai added.

"I think it'd be perfect, we are older now as you said it's time to left the past behind" Tyson told him swallowing the lump in his throat and knowing that he wouldn't be able to left the past behind never in his life.

They remained silent for a while till hopefully for them, Rei came to cut the uncomfortable silence that was beginning to appear between them. Rei didn't want to disturbed them; he knew that they hadn't seen each other for ages and knew that they had a lot to talk about but Rei hadn't seen them in a long time either so he decided to interrupted them just to say hello and go but since Tyson and Kai seemed to be enjoying talking with him, he stayed for a little while, then Mao joined them in the conversation and little by little a few people joined them in the conversation as well.

At one point in the night, when some of the guests had already gone, Kai and Tyson were sitting on a bench that was in the backyard, talking about life and watching their children playing with other kids. They stayed there for a long time. Neither of them try to talk or say something about their past it was as if the idea of regaining their friendship was going pretty well.

The meeting was a real success; they all got reunited with friends that they hadn't seen in a long time and caught up with their lives, everybody was really happy, the party had started at noon and end late at night.

Many of the guests stayed for one night in Max, Kenny, Daichi, Tyson or Kai's house since they were from other countries and the guys didn't want them to spend money in accommodation they decided to do that.

That day when Kai came home with his guests he realized that his wife hadn't arrived yet.

"Daddy, and Mummy?" Sara asked his father.

"Today your mom will arrive late" Kai told her felling guilty for lying to his daughter, because the truth was that he had no idea where his wife was.

Then he realized that the rest were looking at him wondering where Hina was so he had to lie and said:

"Today she has a friend's bachelor party so I don't really know when she will arrive" Kai said scratching his neck nervously and feeling extremely awful for lying to his friends.

"I hope to meet her in the morning" Mao said, she was one of the guests

After that, Kai showed his guests the room he had prepared for them and put his daughter to bed.

Hina returned home at dawn when all the people inside the house were already sleeping.

The next day when Kai woke up and saw her in the bed he felt anger, he was pretty angry with her; she was also awake so he told her:

"You knew about the reunion in Max´s house, Where were you?" He said it trying to stay calm but the anger was clear in his voice.

"Sorry, honey" Kai hated when Hina said that last word to him, it made him more angry.

"I was at my parents' house, my mother wasn't feeling well so we took her to the hospital" She added.

"And how is she now?" Kai asked pretending sympathy and clenching his teeth to remain calm.

"Fine, hopefully it was nothing serious but she had to be in the hospital the whole day just to checked her up" "

"And why didn't you call me?"

"I didn't want to worry you or Sara" Hina told him and Kai did everything he could not to get even angrier and start to scream.

"I called you many time but you didn't even answer" Kai told her angrier now, he was not believing a single word she was saying.

"Sorry, I didn't have signal inside the hospital"

"The first thing Sara asked me when we got home was where his mummy was, and I had to lie to her because I didn't have a fucking clue where you were" He was totally angry now and it was shown in the way he was speaking.

"I'm sor.." Hina try to speak but Kai didn't let her finished it.

"I spent all fucking day laying to everyone who asked me where the fuck were you, Was it so difficult to get out of the hospital and call your husband?"

Kai was tired of all this, of her lying, of her, of everything, he was tired to look as the stupid husband who didn't know his wife was cheating on him but it wasn't the moment to say anything, not with the other and his daughter in the house.

"I ran out of credit Kai and I was worried about my mother as well"

"That's enough Hina! I don't want to hear more excuses, I told the other you had a bachelor party so don't make me look like a liar and play along if someone asked something, please" Kai told her a little calmer.

"I'm sorry, seriously" She told him.

"Today we can go to the park with Sara" Kai told her.

"Kai I can't today, you know, it's the day I spend all day in Jasmine's house"

"You are right I totally forgot about that"

Kai didn't believe her anything she said but this time he believed her, after all it was usual for her and her friend to spend a whole day together, it was like a tradition to them, they did that once or twice a month. But the next day Kai realized that even the only time he had believed her she had lied to him.

Thanks for reading it :D


	4. Chapter 4

April, 2014

Two days after the reunion at Max's house

Normal POV

Kai had gone to sleep late that day, after remembering all those moments with Tyson it wasn't easy for him to just close his eyes ,stop thinking and sleep, his mind unconsciously kept thinking about those moments that had been so nice and happy for him and that he knew he wouldn't have them again. Seeing him that day in Max's house devastated him completely.

Today when he woke up, he recalled the dream that he had that night and he was angry, angry with his subconscious because it kept bothering him even when he was sleeping, and besides he was angry with himself for not being able to control what was happening to him, he likes to have control about everything that happens in his life but his feeling for Tyson were something he could never control and that bother him a lot.

If the previous night he had been destroyed, the dream let him in even worst conditions, when he woke up he sat on the bed and started crying, It's been years since the last time he cried like that, tear after tear were coming out of his eyes and he couldn't stop them even if he try. Who said that men don't cry because of love? He was devastated and tired of what was happening in his life.

The dream:

Tyson had been all day insisting Kai to face him in a beyblade match, Kai really didn't want but he changed his mind when Tyson suggested that he didn't want because he was afraid of losing. After a very tight match Kai was the winner and Tyson was a little annoyed for not winning and Kai noticed that.

"I don't like to see you angry"

"…"

Kai smiled, it was funny to see Tyson acting like a child.

"I know something we can do for you to change that face" Kai told him.

Tyson looked at him.

Kai looked at him and sweetly grabbed his face to kiss him in the lips and then he said:

"We can go to your bedroom watch a movie and stay together on your bed"

Tyson smiled, then he got up and went directly to his bedroom, Kai was following him.

Both of them were in Tyson's bed, hugging each other and enjoying the moment, the movie was long forgotten and both of them were sleeping.

Then they were suddenly sitting in a park, side by side, contemplating the sight and enjoying each others' company, after a while Tyson looked at Kai and smiled, Kai smiled back and they stayed looking at each other's eyes for a while.

And that was when Kai woke up, the thing that hurt him the most wasn't actually the dream it was that the dream was more like a memory of the past, in the dream Tyson and he were younger, they were still teenagers like when they used to be together, everything seemed to be so real in that dream that Kai couldn't stop himself for wanting to turn back time and lived again in those times when he was so happy and life was so different, Hina wasn't in his life, he didn't need to worry about working and maintain a family, Those times were Tyson wasn't married let alone divorced, life was so perfect.

However what hurt Kai the most was knowing that the dream will never be a real situation again nowadays, Tyson will never look at him like he used to. Kai will never be able to kiss Tyson again, now he will have to be happy just with having him as friends while trying to do his best to hide his pain and feelings toward his friend.

After that, Kai got out off his bed and still pretty angry with his life and with himself and with tears in his eyes he went to the living room, he was so angry that he needed to do something to get rid of that anger somehow and he couldn't have a better idea than punching the wall with all his strength.

He was so caught up in his anger that he didn't even notice that his daughter was in the room till she spoke.

"Daddy, you fine?" She asked him a little bit surprised and scared to see his father in that state.

Kai cursed internally and his anger toward himself grew even more 'How could I let my daughter see my in this state?' So weak and crying. It is supposed that my daughter has to think that I'm brave and strong not a pathetic poor man. Kai thought.

Kai didn't know what to tell her but he had to make up something:

"Hi Sara, yes, daddy is fine, just a little tired, don't worry" Kai told her in a calm and sweet voice doing his best to hide his tears.

After that Kai took a shower to relax a little and start his day as if his word wasn't falling down.

Tyson POV

Yesterday I didn't have time to think about what happened two days ago in Max's house, but now that I'm alone in my house and without anything to do it seems that I can't stop thinking and remembering thing.

I saw Kai after 5 years, I still remember that last time I saw him, we were at Daichi's house I was with my girlfriend, Hilary, now she is my ex wife and mother of my only child, Makoto. I remember I saw him after I kissed Hilary, I looked to one side and that when I saw him, he was looking at me, I was feeling a little bad at that moment, a mixture between guilty and pain that I had never felt before, that was what I was feeling. My heart was hurting and for the first time in a long long time Kai's face didn't transmitted me what he was feeling, I couldn't notice if his face was of pain or indifference but I couldn't stop myself for feeling guilty anyway. I was still in love with Kai; he was a very important person in my life. At that moment I wanted to go where he was and talk to him, say hi, something but Hilary spoke and all my attention was again focus on her. After a while I looked again to where Kai was, but he wasn't there anymore, then I tried to looked for him but I couldn't find him, I remember that Rei was the one who told me that he had gone a few minutes ago when I asked him if he had seen him.

Upon hearing that Kai was gone I felt such pain that the simple fact of remembering it make it hurt again, I was sure I was not going to see him again, I had lost the only opportunity I will have to change thing, to talk to him and maybe be friends again and I didn't t saw him for five years.

When I saw him at Max's house I swear I could feel that my heart stopped beating for a second, Kai was even more handsome than ever, I tough that was impossible but I was wrong.

It wasn't easy to see him again to be honest; it wasn't easy to see him being so nice to Makoto, it made me so happy but so sad at the same time. I was feeling guilty because at some point it was my fault that Kai wasn't in Makoto's life before like the other guys were and it was because of my cowardice.

Makoto's obsession with meeting Kai started a few months ago, I was tidying up a few things in the house, and one of those things was a box in which there was a photo frame with a picture of Daichi, Max, Rei, Kenny, Kai and I, it was an old picture it was taken even before my first kiss with Kai in Max's house, well that actually wasn't our first kiss but that's not relevant now.

Makoto saw the picture and grabbed the photo frame and the first one he recognized was Max, he hadn't change too much, then me and then Kenny and then he recognized Daichi because of the color of his hair, I think he is the one who has changed the most with the years, then he recognized Rei and after that he asked me the question I knew that was coming but didn't want to answer:

"Who is him?" He asked me pointing to Kai.

I close my eyes, took a deep breath and say:

"A friend"

"How come I never heard of him?" 'Why does he always want to know everything and know everybody?' I asked myself.

"Because we haven't talked or saw each other for a long long time"

"Why?" He asked me, I closed my eyes and swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat, talking about Kai wasn't easy for me; the pain that brings me remembering him was still there.

"For things that happen in life Makoto, we just grew apart" I told him.

"And where is he now?"

"I don't know Makoto, if you want to know anything about him you should ask your uncles, they are still in touch with him" I told him kindly but the truth was that the only thing I really wanted to do was scream and tell him to stop asking me questions about him because he was killing me.

"Oh what a pity, he looked like a cool guy, I wish I could meet him"

Those last words killed me and somehow made me feel even guiltier; Kai was an incredible person ¿Why wasn't him in my son's life? I thought and that was when I remember again that it was my fault somehow.

"He had a great style" He told me after and the only thing that crossed my mind was 'please never paint you face like him' Yes, Kai used to paint his cheeks with blue paint, According to him he did that because it made him look ruder, that was what he told me once.

I hadn't thought about Kai for a long time before that day, after Makoto was born, he became everything to me I just could think about my son and anything else, I was so happy about being a father that I even neglected my marriage and that's why I'm divorced now, we have parted on good terms both of us knew that we didn't love each other like we used to so it was pointless to keep being married and hopefully Makoto understand it and took it in a really good way, he is an intelligent boy so he understand the situation perfectly. We have been divorced for almost 5 months now.

Well let's come back to what I was saying, I hadn't thought about Kai for a long time and seeing that picture made me remember all those old good time that we all spent together, we were so young.

After a while Makoto realized that I wasn't going to tell him anything about Kai so he went to his bedroom and I stayed there tiding up that box and the first think I saw was a picture of Kai and I, just the two of us, we had taken that picture one day while we were at the park we always used to go, when I saw it I felt that my world was falling apart, Kai had given me that photo in our first "anniversary", well the truth is that we never really celebrate our anniversary we weren't boyfriends anyway, our relationship was a little weird we were just friends that loved and kissed each other but we never put a name to our relationship.

He gave me that picture and told me that he really wanted me to have a photo of the two of us and that it was the best opportunity he could find to give it to me. In the back of the photo something was written and it said:

'11-27-2004 to 11-27-2005 our first year together, I hope to be able to give you the same thing in a year' And he did give me another photo, it was actually beneath the other one I had grabbed before but that time what was written was different and it said: '11-27-2004 to 11-27-2006 two years together and I wish I could say I would like to give you the same thing in a year : ('By that time we had already talked about not seeing each other once we were in the university therefore we knew that in one year we wouldn't be together, I remember that moment when he gave me the photo and I read what was writing , my eyes were full of tears but I didn't let them fall I just hugged Kai hard and then I kiss him.

However after reading that at that moment when I was tiding up the box I couldn't stop the tears to fall, I hadn't cry that much since the day we said goodbye and that had been actually the last time I had cried. My tears were falling one after one without stopping, I was devastated, I tough I had got over him but I realized I was totally wrong, life wasn't being fair with me, "Don't they said that time heals everything?" "Aren't 8 years enough time?" But I'm sure that phrase has some reality in it the problem is when you are not willing to forget, not even time will heal it and that is what is happening to me, even though I try I can't forget him or what I feel for him because something in me just doesn't want that to happen. And even after an eternity if I'm not willing to forget not even time will be able to help me.

"And now how do I do to stop thinking about Kai?" "How?" For so many years I tried to suppress my feeling and after seeing him the other day I realized that I will be never able to forget him, seeing him was like falling in love all over again with the person I never stopped loving. That sounds illogical right? Well but in my mind that's totally logical.

"How could I forget about all those moments that we lived together?" Life was so perfect back then. And I'm not complaining about my life nowadays or after we stop seeing each other it's just that seeing him made me realized how much I have really missed him and needed him in my life, however I can't regret it completely because if t wasn't for that Makoto wouldn't be here and I can't imagine my life without my son.

And I not going to lie, I loved Hilary and was happy with her and then Makoto came and everything was even more perfect but I have always missed him, there has been always a hole in my life and that hole was Kai, his absence.

But if I have to be totally honest I will say that I have always waited deep inside me that one day Kai would show up, just having him in my life would've made everything even more perfect or maybe I just hoped that Kai would show up and would tell me that he still loves me and that splitting up was the stupidest thing we could have done, but that never happened and I lost all hope the day of my marriage…

I still remember putting that paper inside Kai's wedding invitation before giving it to Max and I never had an answers to what the paper said, it wasn't a question anyway and sincerely I have no idea what I was expecting or what crossed my mind to put that paper there but I did it and the answers was: nothing.

Since the day Makoto saw that photo life hasn't stop making me remember Kai, it looks like it was on purpose.

What I'm going to say now happened two days after what I was saying before, Rei and Max were at my house, we were waiting for Kenny and Daichi to arrive, we were going to go out with Makoto as well, he loves my friends so much, they are like family to him. Anyway, when Makoto saw them the first thing he did after saying "hi" was ask about Kai, I could noticed that Rei and Max were a little surprised to hears Kai's name from Makoto's mouth. At that moment Max looked at me as if asking permission to talk, yes, Max is the only person who knows what happened between Kai and I in the past, however I suspect that Rei knows as well, maybe Kai confessed that to him at some point, anyway, I nod my head to give Max the permission he was silently asking for and then I left, went to my room and let Makoto ask anything he wanted to know. I didn't really want to hear anything about Kai; he was still a very sensitive topic for my and even more at that moment.

Approximately two weeks after that, it was a day that I couldn't go pick up my son from kindergarten and neither could Hilary, so I asked Max if could go pick him up for me, He told me yes and that he was with Daichi so the two of them will be going to pick him up and then bring him home.

Makoto always has a key of the house in his backpack just in case something like that happens, when I arrived home that I day I saw something that I had wished that would never happen, I entered my house and the first thing I saw was Makoto with his face painted like Kai when he was younger. Daichi couldn't stop laughing when he saw the look of astonishment and anger on my face, Max had a guilty grin but I am pretty sure he was enjoying the moment as well, what awesome friends that I have.

At first I was a little angry with Max and Daichi but them they told me it was Makoto's idea so the anger was gone; however I still have my doubts about whether it was true or not…

Flashback: The day when Makoto appeared with his face painted

"I have an idea" Daichi Said when he saw a blue paint inside Makoto's backpack.

"Wouldn't you like to paint your face like Kai used to do" Daichi asked Makoto.

"Daichi" Max told him with a serious voice and letting him know it wasn't a good idea.

Makoto's eyes were shining like stars and he said:

"Yeees, I have been thinking how that would look on me for a few days now" Makoto said very happy,

And even though Max was the one who thought that was a bad idea, he was the one who ended up painting Makoto's face.

"Aww, he looks like a tiny Tyson with his face painted like Kai" Daichi said when he saw Makoto

"Tyson is going to kill us, when he sees him" Max said scratching his head feeling a little guilty and nervous.

"Yeah, you right, but Tyson's face when he sees him will worth the risk" Daichi said.

"Makoto, if you daddy asks, it was your idea, right? He will be mad at us if he knows it was ours, but with you he won't be angry" Max told him.

"OK" Makoto said smiling.

Seeing Makoto like that brought back memories of one day when Kai was at my house, we were alone and Kai had the amazing idea of telling me that he would like to paint my face like his, at first I said no, but it was impossible for me to say no to Kai for more than five seconds and more where he looked at my with puppy-dog face, he know how to manipulate me so I ended up agreeing and letting him painted my face and when I saw Makoto, I actually saw myself looking in the mirror with my face painted and Kai laughing behind me. I have to admit that in Kai it looked fine, but in me were ridiculous. And even though my son looked pretty cute with them, remembering that day wasn't easy for me. However after a while the anger was gone I couldn't stop laughing as well.

I remember Makoto's face when Max told him that he was going to see Kai at the party at his house, he was so happy, Kai was like an idol for him and was totally obsessed with him and now that he had met him he is even more obsessed than before, Kai was so nice to him, I wasn't expecting less anyway, Kai may look like a cold and rude person but I know him better than anyone and I know he actually has a big heart, that was I fell in love with him.

Seeing Kai was a mixture of so many things that I can't even explain it, 5 years without seeing him and 8 years without talking, it was so rare and so nice to be able to talk to him again, I swore that I looked at him and I was dying to give him a kiss to turn back time but that is all impossible now, he is married and besides I don't even know if he still feels the same for me as before, I doubt it, and more knowing that it was him the one who said that he wanted to leave the past behind and start from scratch.

Yesterday I met his doughtier, she is so beautiful, I told him joking that I was sure she took after his mother but the truth is that she a female version of Kai, she has Kai's hair color but just the dark one. She also has his eyes and even though she is still young and his features are not so well defined you can see that she has the same perfects features as his father. However I can totally said that as for personality she might be like her mother because even though she doesn't talk too well she was playing and talking and being nice with other kids.

It hurts to remember all this, memories from the past can't stop coming to my mind , since I saw that photo I can't stop thinking about him and now that I have saw him it s even worse. I just want to be able to turn back time, just for one day, only to be able to hug him and be with him like we used to, just for one last time I want to feel his lips against mine, just one fucking day I want everything to be like before.

These wish that I have its killing me little by little and can't do anything to top it.

Kai POV

For some reason my mind doesn't want to leave me alone, I saw Tyson even in my dreams and that bothers me a lot, the only thing I want is just forget what I feel for him, and just be able to love him as friend and nothing more but I can't and my subconscious is just not helping me at all. Why did I have to dream with him? Why? It was like being in 2005 or 2006 all over again, we were together and everything was fine. It was like coming back to those times when my life had sense; my days weren't always the same and full of sadness.

I was so mad at myself and with life when I woke up that the only way I found to get out of that anger without screaming was punching the wall with one fist and just at that moment Sara saw me, how week and stupid I felt at that instant. I hate the fact that my daughter had seen me in that state of debility and in one pint craziness.

Before I woke up I had cried everything I hadn't cried before and for the first time in a long long time, I cried without having the alcohol as an excuse, I was devastated and my daughter saw my like that. I always had tried to show her that I'm strong but today I totally fail and in some point I'm feeling that I fail her as a father but the truth is that I fail myself for not being baler to control my emotions.

My hand still hurts, I punched the wall really hard, I was totally angry and confused and that is not usual on my.

Yesterday I recalled a lot of thing that had to do with Tyson, but there was one memory that was missing and it's a thing that destroyed me completely many years ago and that memory is coming back to my mind right now and remembering it hurts me as much as back then but I can't afford to cry, not right now, not with Sara and Hina in the house. I just want to grab an alcoholic drink and drink it without even thinking, but I can't, all this situation is killing me, my life is so far from being perfect or good, the only good thing in my life is my daughter and my friends, and well maybe my life is not as horrible as I something make it look, but not having Tyson in my life is killing me and I don't know how will I be able to stand just having him as friend , he means the world to me, he changed my life, he was my first real love, he is the only person about my past that I won't be able to forget even if I try.

The memory that is haunting me right one is an old one, exactly three months after Tyson wedding, for some reason that I don't know the wedding invitation was on one of the furniture that I used to have in the living room. When I saw it I don't know why but I wanted to open it and I did, but when I took out the invitation from the envelop I saw that inside there was a paper, a paper that I hadn't seen before and there was something written in it, with Tyson's handwriting and the paper said…


	5. Chapter 5

April, 2014

Two days after the reunion at Max's house

Kai's POV

The memory that is haunting me right now is an old one, exactly three months after Tyson wedding, for some reason that I don't know the wedding invitation was on one of the furniture that I used to have in the living room. When I saw it I don't know why but I wanted to open it and I did, but when I took out the invitation from the envelop I saw that inside there was a paper, a paper that I hadn't seen before and there was something written in it, with Tyson's handwriting and the paper said…

'I still remember, I swore'

When I read what the paper said, I felt how the whole world was coming down on me, I knew what he meant with those words and that was what hurt me the most.

Flashback

"Kai, I know that in a few months this is going to be over, we had already talked about it, and we agreed that it was the best for both of us"

At that moment he looked at Kai and continued:

"I..I.. I just want you to know that whatever happens in the future, I will never forget this, us, those two last years, and specially I will never forget what I feel for you, I swore "

"Same here Tyson, same here" That was the only thing Kai could say while his face was in tears.

Kai's POV

He wrote that because of that promise he had done to me all those years ago in Kenny's house. I know that. He was secretly telling me that he still loved me and he was silently asking me if I still kept that promise, but I read the paper three months later, that had been my only chance to get him back, but by the time I had read that, it was too late, three months late and Tyson was already married and his wife was pregnant. Everything was lost.

Knowing that I had lost my only chance to be with him again, destroyed me completely, I thought he had already forgotten about his felling for me and about that promise, but that paper proved me wrong and at that moment I was sure that he believed I felt nothing for him when he didn't get an answers from me.

That day I was devastated, I felt that my life had no sense at all and I was sinking into a world of pure depression, I can't even explain the feeling. I remember that I grabbed a bottle of an alcoholic drink, I remember a call from Rei and I remember thinking about doing something pretty stupid, yeah I remember thinking about killing myself, I was totally deranged, hurt and devastated, sometimes I can't even believe what Tyson cause to me and having the certainty that I could have done something to be happy again with him and not doing it just because I read a fucking paper three months late, destroyed me completely. After that, I remember Rei at my house; I remember crying too much, like I had never cried before and then I don't remember anything. I don't remember anything till the next day when I woke up and saw Rei sitting by my side asking me if I was fine.

That had been the first time in my life that drinking had made my forget things about my previous day.

I tough about that moment and the only thing I want to do is cry and scream, but I can't.

Maybe people don't understand what cause and how much it hurts to love someone the way I love Tyson, it's something you just can't explain, he was my first and only true love.

Rei's POV

I am a little preoccupied about Kai; I know it can't be easy for him to have seen Tyson again, for some reason Kai had a huge weakness for Tyson, and I know that this situation must not be easy for him, but he doesn't want to talk about the things that bother him. The only ones who know about what happened between Kai and Tyson are Max and I and he never want to talk about him neither with max nor me. The only few times that he told me something about Tyson it was just because he was drunk.

When we were younger Kai didn't use to drink too much alcohol, but since the day he stopped seeing Tyson the alcohol has become his way to relief.

Kai doesn't like to talk about his private life but I know that things with his wife are not good at all and according to Max there is something about that relationship that he is not telling us, I just come here a few times a month so I don't really know how his relationship is but Max sees them frequently and he told me that thing between them are not good at all.

I'm preoccupied and at the same time I'm a little afraid of him doing something stupid.

I still remember that day when he confessed to me about his and Tyson's relationship, we were at Daichi's house, that day had been the first time he had seen him after 2 years, Tyson was with Hilary, his ex-wife, and seeing him with another person, destroyed Kai completely, I remember that I saw him when he was about to leave, I could see in two seconds that Kai wasn't in his best conditions, he was totally drunk, I wasn't going to let him left like that and besides I was worried to see him in that state so I basically forced him to tell me what was worrying him, we went to a place where no one could hear us, and that was when he told me everything, he was so sad that he was even crying, something that really shocked me, it was the first time I had seen Kai crying like that, every person that knows Kai could thing that someone like him never cries, but there he was, crying and totally helpless.

My reaction when he told me at first was feeling a little offended because my friends hadn't told me anything about them before and then when he told me that Max knew I was even more angrier even though he then told me that neither of them had told him, he knew it just because Max had seen them once, I felt that my friends didn't trust me but at the same time I started thinking 'What would I have said or how I'd have reacted if I knew that three years ago?' And the truth is that back then I was 16/17 years old and I was pretty immature and I don't really know how I'd have reacted by knowing that two of my friends were gays, but fortunately I have matured and now I understand that love between people of the same gender is not a bad thing, so at the time I was glad that I didn't know that before.

After that I started thinking if I was too stupid and that is why I never suspected anything or if they were too clever and hide it really well because even now If I start thinking about those times I can't remember seeing something that would´ve made me thought that they were more than friends, it's true that sometimes they said that they were going to train together, just the two of them and now that I think about that I guess that the less they did was train, but apart from that, there is no other clue I can find.

It had been always strange to me the fact that they had stopped seeing each other overnight but I never understand why, well at least till that they when Kai told everything to me and everything started to have sense.

Anyways, coming back to that day in Daichi's house, it made me so sad to see Kai like that, it was not usual on him, and that was when I realized how much Tyson really meant to Kai.

I promised him to not say anything to anyone not even Tyson and that is what I did.

After Kai had relaxed a little, I driven him to his house, he couldn't drive to his house in that state. When I came back to the party I saw Tyson, I had so many thing to ask him and tell him but I had to keep those things to me, then he asked me if I had seen Kai and I told him that he had left a few minutes ago and I could see that he was sad, and I wondered if he kept feeling the same for Kai.

I think that I am the only person that has seen Kai crying like I did and that wasn't the only time.

I remember that other time when I saw him crying and that time was even worse, I was really scared, it was four years ago, in 2010. I had just arrived to Japan and I remember that I called him to told him that that time I was going to stay at max house, I used to stay at his house every time I was in Japan but by that time he was already with Hina and even though they weren't married yet, she was at his house almost all the time, so I didn't want to bother them but when I called him I could notice that he wasn't fine, that he was drunk again, thing that really surprised me again. The call was less than 10 second short; I only got to ask him if he was fine, he just told me something without sense and then he hang up.

After that, the first thing I did was calling Max and the call went like this:

"Hi, Max I am already in Japan"

"Ey, hi Rei, are you near my house?"

"I'm not going to stay at your house this time, I called Kai and I could see that he was a little weird, I'm a little worried, I think he was drunk and crying"

"Oh, really? Kai?" Max asked me surprised.

'Do you have any ideawhat might have happened to him? Max was silent for a few second and the said:

"No, I really don't, maybe he had a fight with Hina, Are you going to go to his house now?"

"Yes, I'm a little worried"

When I arrived to Kai's house I rang the bell but no one answered, and that worried me a little bit more and at that moment I was totally grateful for having a copy of Kai's key, he had given them to me a long time ago since I always lived at his house when I was in Japan.

I opened the door and I saw Kai sitting against the wall, with a few bottles around him and with blood in his wrist, first I was in shock and then I realized what he was trying to do, I got really scared, but I arrived just in time, he was conscious, just too drunk to realized what he was really doing. I really don't know why he was like that; he just told that it had to do with Tyson; I think that he was like that because of Tyson's wedding and for knowing that Tyson's wife was pregnant but I really don't know, he never told me exactly why he was like that and I didn't ask either, I was too worried about him and his health.

I wondered what would have happened if I hadn't arrived in that instant and the simple fact of thinking about that gives me the chills and scares me a lot. Kai is one of my best friends and if something happens to one of them I don't really know what I would do.

And that's why two day after that I called Max and told him that I needed to meet him, I had a few things to tell him so I told him that I was worried about Kai and that I wanted him to keep an eye on him, I also told him that I knew about Tyson and Kai past relationship although I had told Kai I wouldn't say anything about that, it was necessary for Max to know that Kai was a little depressed and it had nothing to do with Hina, he was the only person I could trusted to keep an eyes on Kai knowing the true motive of his behavior.

Then I told Kai that Max knew that I knew, he was a little angry at first but then he comprehended my situation.

And now I know that Kai might not be really fine, even if he always try to deny what he feels or does like he doesn't care when one of us tells him something about Tyson, I know better than anyone that he will never be able to forget Tyson.

He can pretend all he wants when he is in front of other people, but I know him and I know that it might not be easy for him and more taking into account the problems he has with his wife.

This time I am staying in Japan just for one week, it was the maximum of holidays that Mao and I could get, she is my girlfriend and even though we have had our fights I love her so much and we have been together for more than 6 years, however we have been living together for less than a year.

I'm glad that Tyson and Kai are talking again, in two months it's our wedding and I would be really upset if one them didn't come because of that pact that they did of not seeing each other, well actually I would be really angry if one of them didn't come. Both of them are my friends and of course I want them in my special day and it would be even better if I have them and they are not trying to avoid each other, and since I saw them talking I think that won't happened.

I talked too much about Kai but the truth is that I don't know how Tyson might be feeling about all this, I sincerely don't know if Tyson stills fells the same for Kai.

Max's POV

I'm so glad that Tyson and Kai are talking again, however I wonder how are they taking all this situation, I haven't seen them since that day, we are actually planning to go and visit Tyson and Makoto tomorrow and then Sara and Kai but I doubt that they will show how they are really feeling, after all they have tried to deny it for more than 8 years but after what happen two days ago I'm sure that both of them are still in love with each other, they are just too stupid and too stubborn to admit it.

I have tried so many times to make them talk about their feeling but none of them said a thing. I even lost count of how many times I have tried.

Oh, before I said we, and with we I meant Rei and Mao, they are at my house now.

However I wonder how Kai might be taking all this, I remember a few years ago, Rei called me and told me that he was very worried about Kai, Rei was so worried that he made me worry as well, then we meet and he told me everything that had happened and that was when I was even more worried about Kai, he wasn't fine, not at all. However I supposed this time he might not be as upset as that day, I saw them talking and they seemed to be happy but I know that they are pretty good at hiding what they are really feeling.

As for Tyson I'm not so worried about him, I am sure he wouldn't be capable of doing something stupid and for what I could see in all those years, the separation was easier for him than it was for Kai. Ironically the strongest between them is Tyson and not Kai like everyone would think, but at some point I understand Kai, not even things with his wife are well in this moment and they haven't been good for a long time, Kai told us that they argue a lot but I'm sure that there is something more that he is not telling us and sometimes it bothers me a lot that after so many years he stills can't open up to us with certain things.

And sometimes it makes me so mad knowing that he was with me when I needed him the most but I couldn't be with him when he needed it because I never knew it. He always wore that invisible mask of indifference when I try to talk to him about something deep or really personal. Sometimes I feel that he doesn't trust me but then I remember that he is like that with everyone.

I'm tired of his attitude, I wish I could do something to make him open up and make him talk about what is bothering him, because locking himself into his little world of alcohol and depression is not good for him, I'm sure.

They weren't even the ones who told me about his secret relationship I know about that just because I saw them one day, I remember they were at my house, and we have been looking for them for a long time and we couldn't find them, they were in the backyard hiding behind a tree, kissing, when I saw them I was shocked, I had never suspected anything about them being like that and if I hadn't seen them I'm sure I wouldn't know a thing about that now. Anyway, the only thing I said at that moment was: 'Don't worry I'm not going to said anything, it's ok and I'm happy for both of you' their faces of fear had told me that they were really afraid of what I could think or said so I decided to just say that and leave it there, we never talked about it after that, for some reason at that moment I didn't have the courage to ask something. However I remember asking something to Tyson a few months after noticing that they were doing everything they could to avoid each other and that was when he told me about their pact of not seeing each other, I told him it was something stupid and he got angry, he told me I didn't know how it was to be like that and if they did that it was because it was for the best. And he was right; I supposed the whole situation wasn't easy for them.

And after that, every time I asked one of them something about their feelings, they firmly denied me feeling something for the other and then they change the subject, action that tells me that my questions should end there.

I just hope that they have realized that the best they could do now is keep seeing each other and try to be friends again, at least for their children, seeing Makoto's face when he met Kai was a wonderful thing to watch, the kid adores Kai.

And besides it would be good to be all together again like in the olds times, maybe I'm being a little egoistic by thinking that but both of them have grown up and if they did so much work trying to suppress what they were feeling for so long at least they have to make it worth it.

I think I'm going to confront Kai and make him talk, not just about Tyson, about his marriage also, keeping to himself everything might be killing him inside, and if I'm a good friend I should make him talk even if he doesn't want, well maybe that doesn't have so much sense, but I know that there are things that are bothering him and keeping them to himself is not good for anyone, I'm sure. But I will have to wait till Mao and Rei are gone I want to talk only with him.

Kenny's POV

More than 6 years had passed since the last time Kai and Tyson saw each other and it had been always strange for me the fact that they just stop seeing each other overnight, however I always have had my suspicions and I have had them for a long time now, since those times when we used to be teenagers and Kai and Tyson were still talking to each other. And after seeing their faces when Kai told Makoto that old story, I'm 98% sure that my suspicions are true. I´m 98% sure that something happened between them, I'm almost sure that they loved each other as more than just friends, I even think that they were actually together as a couple for a while and then everything ended and that is why they stop seeing each other. And that's why Tyson wasn't at Kai's wedding and vice versa.

They can't lie to me, I consider myself a very intelligent person, but I never have the courage to confront any of them.

In some point I'm a little angry with both of them for not trusting me; I wonder if the other knows about that, I would feel pretty upset if they know. Almost 12 years have passed and neither of them told me anything that bothers me a lot.

This time I am determined to ask Tyson about the subject, I'm tired of supposing and supposing, I am determined to know the truth. Why not asking Kai? The answers is easy, I don't have the courage to ask him, the truth is that asking Kai will intimidated me a lot and even though I stop fearing him a lot time ago I still haven't the courage to ask him something so personal. Therefore asking Tyson will be so much easier.

So maybe tomorrow I will go to Tyson's house and ask him, I'm totally determined to do that.


	6. Chapter 6

April, 2014

Three days after the reunion at Max's house

In the morning

Tyson's POV

Today I'm a little better than yesterday, remembering all the things that had happened in the past months and other things that have to with Kai, in some point was good for me, I think that I needed to recall all those thing and get them out of me.

I believe that now I'm ready to see Kai just as a friend, of course it's not going to be easy, as I said before I will never be able to forget about what I feel for Kai, I really love him and that is something that is not going to change, but I'm willing to try to put those feelings aside and try to be his friend again, it was so nice to talk to him again, to hear his voice and watch him talking to Makoto, yesterday Makoto asked me when was he going to saw Kai again, we all arranged to meet each other again tomorrow, so I told him that in two days he would be seeing Kai again, he was so happy, I can't even describe the happiness that his face showed.

Now I'm sitting in the couch trying to pay attention to the TV but a memory is coming to my mind, the memory of our first kiss and even though we had always considered that our first kiss was outside Max's house, because that was the day when we confessed our felling for each other, the truth is that our first kiss was a few months before…

It was in summer vacations of that same year, 2004, I remember that those were our first holidays with friends we had- Daichi, Rei, Kenny, Kai and I had decided to go all together for a few day to the beach. Those were really good vacations, I have the best memories from that little trip that we did and even tough a lot of years have passed I still remember them and that day when Kai kissed me as if it happened yesterday.

It was night and we had gone to a club that was near the house we were renting for a few days, we were still minors but as we were let's say famous, they let us passed even though we weren't old enough. When we paid to enter the place they gave everyone of us a paper that we could change for a free drink and of course we changed them and that was how after drinking his, Kenny and Daichi's free drinks Kai ended up a little bit drunk. We weren't used to alcohol so drinking a little affected us a lot actually, but Kai was the worst, when we got out of there he could hardly stand by.

It was getting late so we decided to go home, for some reason I ended up helping Kai, I was hugging him just with one arm and he had one of his arms on my shoulders, he couldn't walk properly so he needed the help. Kenny and Daichi were walking a few steps ahead of us; Rei and Max were even further away from us talking with two friends of Max that he had met up there.

Kai and I were walking side by side and Kai was so drunk that while we were talking he kissed me on the lips, in the moment I just stayed petrified for few seconds, I didn't understand anything, but then I reacted and thought that he was doing that just because he was drunk so I told him:

"You are drunk Kai, you don't even know what you are doing"

"Drunk people tell the truth" He told me that and I don't even know why, he hadn't said something that was worth saying that.

After that we keep walking, we were walking on the beach and he kissed me again, I pushed him a little away and told him:

"Stop Kai, tomorrow you will regret this, well if you remember something, you don't even know what you are doing"

Without answering me, he gave me another kiss, I was dying to just stop there, grab his face and kiss him passionately, but that would have been so wrong, he was drunk and I was not going to take advantages of his state.

Then I tried to do everything I could not to look at him anymore, I also was a little drunk and I believe that one more kiss will be everything I needed to just said goodbye to the little self-control that was still in me

For some reason the others guys had no clue of what was happening behind them, they were too concentrated on their own worlds.

I really thought that Kai wasn't going to remember a thing of that night but the next day when I saw him again and we were alone, it was him the one who talked first and the conversation went something like this:

"About yesterday I…" He told me that scathing his head, I could see that he was nervous, Yeah, even Kai Hiwatari gets nervous, I still remember his face at that moment, he looked so cute.

"Yes, I know it was just the alcohol, don't worry" I told him, interrupting what he was going to said. I didn't want to hear what I tough he was going to tell me.

"Yeah, the alcohol, that was it, you are right" He told me a little sad, at the time I didn't understand why he was like that, but of course I understood why a few months after that.

I remember that he told me exactly the same words that day in Max's house when it was me the one who kissed him and I regretted ever saying those words to him when we were on vacations, because at that moment I understood why he looked so sad when he answered me and I suppose that my world had hurt him and also that was when I understood that he kissed me because he wanted to not just because he was drunk

After a while of starting our weird secret relationship I asked him what he was going to tell me that day when I interrupted him and he told me that he was going to said he was sorry and that he was going to confess to me what he felt for me but he didn't do it because what I had told him had taken the courage he had to tell me everything away. At that moment I felt so stupid for not letting him talk that day.

I can't help but smile when I remember those vacations because even though I was an idiot for not letting him talk, the memory is still a good one because at the end everything ended up fine. And those vacations were so good.  
-

In the evening almost night

Kenny's POV

Today I had a serious conversation with Tyson and even though I'm still a little angry, at least I got an honest answered.

I went to his house at the time I knew that Makoto was in school, because I was sure that with Makoto in the house he was not going to tell me anything. The conversation went like this…

"Tyson, there is something I have been wondering for a long time now" He looked at me a little confused; of course he was not expecting me to ask what I asked him after.

"What's wrong?"" He asked me.

"Maybe you will think that this question is a little weird but tell me the truth please, why did Kai and you stop talking all those years ago?" I told him and I could notice that he got nervous.

"I'm pretty sure that we had already talked about that Kenny" He told me.

"Yes, you are right, but this time I want to hear the truth"

"There is no other truth; we just lost contact"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm, why?"He asked me, and that was when I was totally tired of his lies.

"Because I just don't believe you Tyson, I have my suspicions that between Kai and you something happened and I want you to tell me the true" Tyson was paralyzed and a little pale.

"Wh-wha-what are you saying?" He asked me totally shocked.

"What you heard, stop lying, were Kai and you boyfriends or something?"

Tyson was even paler than before and even more surprised but then he looked at the ground and told me:

"I don't know how you know this, but yes, not boyfriends, but we were something"

I already knew that, I just wanted his confirmation and he gave it to me, however in the begging he tried to deny it, and that annoyed me a lot he had already hidden that from me for more than 10 years

"And then you fight and stop talking?" I asked him, I was intrigued now.

"No, we never fight, we stop seeing each other because we made a pact and we decided that the best thing for us was not to see each other again"

"Why?" I asked him not understanding that decision.

"Kenny, things were not easy for us at that moment, I know we weren't kids back then but we were 19 years old, we were still young, and I don't want you to tell me that it was a stupid decision like Max did when I told him"

OK, So Max knew about them, someone knew it and I didn't, that really bothered me.

"We were sacred and we thought that not seeing each other and ending our relationship there was for the best" He added.

"Actually that has sense, I don't think that was stupid but, why didn't you tell me anything? I'm the only one who didn't know?" I asked him a little offended.

"No, Max is the only one who knew, he saw us kissing once and at least I never told anybody beside you about that" He told me and then he added:

"And, no, it's not that we didn't trust you, it was complicated, it was even hard for me to accept what was happening to me, Kenny please understand me"

"No, I can't understand you, what did you think? That I was a stupid homophobic and that I was going to hate you for being gay?" I think I was totally angry at that moment because I told him that shouting.

"Kenny, it wasn't easy, for either of us, I really don't know what would you have thought or said, not even my family knows about this"

"So you believed I was homophobic, right?"

"No, I never said that, we agreed on not telling anything to anyone and that was what we did" I could see that he was feeling a little guilty but I was still offended.

"Whatever Tyson, but why didn't you tell me anything after? You had more than 6 years to tell me something"

"Because the best was to forget about everything and made as if the relationship had never really exited" And that was when I notice that he was a little sad and I started to felt a little bad for him.

"And does that work?" I asked him.

"No" he told me and I could see that he was even sadder.

"No, because I can't get him out of my head and I can't stop loving him and every time that I think that I finally made progress in this process of putting my feeling aside something reminded me of those moments when I was with him and all the progress goes to the shit" He then added looking at me for the first time since he looked down and I could see that tears were forming in his eyes and I felt extremely guilty for bringing the subject.

"I'm sorry"

"It's ok, don't say you are sorry"

"When did you start that relationship?" I asked him. I was feeling guilty but now I wanted the whole story.

"Almost at the end of 2004"

"So if my calculations are rights, you hide your relationship for a little bit more than 2 years?"

"Yes, you are right"

"And in 10 years you weren't able to tell me anything?"

"Kenny we have already talked about that, it was something we didn't want to tell anybody, it was our secret"

"Were you planning at least to tell me about that someday?" I asked him feeling offended again.

"I'm sorry but I wasn't, I don't want anyone else to know that and beside it's all in the past now" He told me.

"How did you know about what happened between Kai and me?" He asked me a little intrigued.

"It was easy, as you know I'm an intelligent person, I suspected for a long time that both of you loved each other as more than friends, even before you were together, if it's true that everything started in 2004 and I confirmed everything when I saw both of you the other day at Max's house."

"Oh I should have known that one day you will realize"

"And what are you going to do now?" I asked him.

"About what?"

"With Kai, I mean, now that you saw him again"

"Nothing, we agreed on being friends again, like before"

"And is that what you really want?" I was feeling like a psychologist but I couldn't stop asking him questions.

"Of course not Kenny, the only thing I really want to do is just be able to be again with him and tell him how much I love him and that I want us to be together again" I could see he was really sad.

"And why don't you do that?" I asked him and he got a little angry because of the question.

"Because he is married that's why Kenny, because he is happily married with a woman, what kind of a person do you think I'm?"

"You know that things between them are not fine, they fight all the time"

"I don't give a shit if thing between them are fine or not, he is still married with that woman"

"Maybe that marriage wouldn't last too much if you confess to him how you feel"

"Kenny, Do you even hear what you're saying? They are still married and have a daughter; I wouldn't feel good breaking a marriage and I don't even think that Kai still loves me like he did before"

"Things between them are even worse than bad" I told him.

"If they are still together, it must be because of something"

"Yes, because Kai is an idiot, you will make him a favor doing that Tyson, that marriage is a shit"

"And you will make me a favor if you leave" He told me very angry.

"Well, I will leave but think about what I told you"

And like in a movie, just at that moment the bell rang, it was Max, Rei and Mao, I said hello to them and leave without saying another word.

A few hours ago Tyson called me and said he was sorry, he said he has no right to be angry with me, I told him that everything was ok, in some point I understand him, I believe that with my question I touched a deep place inside him that is very sensitive. I suppose it might not be easy for him to talk about Kai.

Tyson's POV

I said I was better right? Well, forget about that, today Kenny came to my house to ask me a lot of questions I didn't want to answer and to tell me thing I didn't want to hear. He just put me in such a bad mood that I ended up shouting at him, I know it was not his fault and at some point he was right at being angry with me for not telling him anything about Kai and I before, I mean he is my friend, one of my best friends and you are suppose to tell everything to your friends, but talking about my relationship with Kai has always been something too personal to me and I really don't like to talk about that.

After Kenny left or rather at the same time Kenny left I had a wonderful visit from Rei, Max, and Mao, I had to pretend and put a happy face when the only thing I really wanted was them to leave and leave me alone, well, I am not going to lie, their visit cheered me up a little but anyway I just wanted to be alone for a moment in my house and I didn't have the pleasure of that because 5 minutes after they arrived, Hilary brought Makoto from school and even though I love my son the only thing I want now is a little peace with no one else here.

I don't care if Kai is extremely happy with his marriage or not, I'm not going to break a family and besides I don't even know if Kai still feels the same for me and I don't even want to know it because having the certainty that he doesn't love me anymore will hurl even more than living all my life with the doubt.

At night

Max's POV

A few minutes ago we came back from Kai's house, and as always he didn't let us see any weakness on him, it seems as if he was even better than ever, well at least that is what someone who doesn't know him so well will think, but I could perfectly see that invisible mask that Kai always wears when something is bothering or hurting him. So now I'm totally determined to talk to him.

The first thing that called my attention was that he had a bandage in his hand and when Mao asked him what had happened to his hand, he gave us such an absurd excuse that is really hard for me to believe that it was true, Who falls off a bike and breaks his fingers? Well, actually a lot of people, but there is problem and it is that Kai hates ride a bike and I'm pretty sure he hasn't used his bike for years; he always has had it like a sculpture in exhibition in his garage and when I saw it today it was exactly in the same place as always, I believe that when he made up his excuse he didn't think that one of his victims was very observant. Maybe it's a stupid detail but I'm tired of him hiding things to us.

On the other hand when we went to Tyson's house I notice that he was a little tense, he wasn't as happy as always, and I believe that his bad mood had something to do whit Kenny's visit, when we arrived, Kenny was leaving and for his behavior and the way he left I supposed that he wasn't in a good mood as well and something in their conversation made them to be like that.

I wonder what might have happened for both of them to be like that, it's not usual to see them angry and it's even stranger to see them being angry with each other.


	7. Chapter 7

May 6, 2014   
Two weeks after the reunion at Max’s house  
Kai’s POV  
Today Max came to my house, I have never seen him so angry before and he was angry with me. He confronted me and asked me a bunch of questions I wasn’t ready to answers. That behavior was a little weird on him, but he had a point and in a way I understand him, he was just worried.  
If it had been another person the one who confronted me the way he did I would have been really angry, but Max is just Max and I love him as if he were the little brother I never really had so it’s really hard for me to be really angry with him. And besides I really needed to talk about some things and if it wasn’t for Max I believe that I would’ve never talked about that stuff. I know that sometimes is better to talk about deep thinks but my pride and the stupid thought of believing that I don't need anyone else don’t let me talk about myself and private things about my life that really hurt me.  
Things between Hina and me haven’t changed a bit; she keeps leaving without saying anything and comes back giving excuses that none could believe, she keeps lying to me and I keep acting as if I knew nothing, I don’t know if I can take it any longer I’m just doing it for our daughter or at least that is what I like to believe but to be honest I don’t even know why I’m still with her if the whole situation is hurting me so much. Maybe it’s because I think that I deserve this, that I deserve to be miserable and sad, for some reason I believe that I deserve to suffer, and that happiness has no place in my life, not anymore. I don't know where these thoughts are coming from but they are there in my mind, all the time. Or maybe it’s just that I’m too much of a coward to face reality and tell everybody that my wife is being unfaithful.  
I’m so confused at this moment about all this.  
As for Tyson there is not too much to say, we saw each other a few times but we were always we the other guys as well. I loved to see Makoto, he is such an intelligent kid and besides he and Sara get along really well. It’s still hard for me to accept that Tyson is just a friend and that it is what he is going to be for the rest of my life, it’s hard to accept that I won’t be able to be with him like we used to, but I have to accepted it, there is no other option.  
Normal POV  
I supposed that you might be wondering why Kai and Hina are still together and the answers is easy, as for Kai, well he already said that he doesn’t even know why but that there is something that is preventing him from ending their marriage.   
And as for Hina the answers is even easier, her relationship with Kai gives her some kind of power that with another person she wouldn’t have. When Hina and Kai started dating all those years ago, she was the envy of all her friends, Kai was famous, he was a known person because he was one of the most famous bladders in the world and even though by the time they started dating Kai was no longer participating in tournaments, the fame was still with him and that was why Hina was the girlfriend of a very known person, she was the girlfriend of one of the men most desired by girls at that time, so she was the envy of a lot of people and Hina loved that. And even though nowadays Kai is not as famous as he used to be all around the world at least in Japan he is still pretty famous and that is why his relationship with Hina is a known thing in the country and if Hina breaks up with Kai she will ruined his reputation, she will stop being the envy of her friends and other people, she will stop having easy money, Kai is a millionaire, after the death of his grandfather he inherited his entire fortune and the company, Hiwatari enterprise. If they divorce Hina will stop having power, money and envy and she doesn’t want that to happen, she wants all that to be forever. She doesn’t even care if she doesn’t love anymore the man she has married, and even though she was once really in love with that man, now the only thing she wants is power and envy and that is something that only Kai can give her now.  
Their relationship wasn’t always so bad, in the first years they were really happy, Kai loved her really much and Hina returned those feelings as well, but years passed and that loved started to fade, especially from Kai’s side, everything changed after Kai read that paper that was inside Tyson’s wedding invitation, that paper that made him suffer so much and hurt him so much, after that he neglected their relationship, he didn’t even care about anyone who wasn’t Tyson and he did all this unconsciously. However three months later Hina told him she was pregnant and that was a nice thing for their relationship. They thought that the right thing to do was marrying before the baby was born and that was what they did but the happiness didn’t last too much, after a while everything was like before and when Sara was born, their relationship start to get even worse. And almost four years has passed and things are getting worse and worse every day.   
Max’s POV  
Today I confronted Kai, I could make him talk and tell me everything and for the first time in my life I could see him talking about himself without that invisible mask that he always wore when he is hiding something or doesn’t want to talk about something and I was so happy about that, at least I know now that he trusts me. However I’m not happy about what is happening to him and to be honest I don’t get why he likes to be like that, suffering so much.  
We talked a lot, I thought he was going to get really angry with me, I really thought that, but he was just angry with me for a moment and them the anger went away and that was when he opened up to me and told me everything.  
I went to his house without telling him I was going and at a time I knew that neither Hina nor Sara will be there. And the conversation went like this:  
“Kai, can I asked you something?”  
“Yes of course, what’s wrong?” He told me and I could see that he was a little surprised and intrigued about what I would ask him but I’m sure he was not expecting my question.  
“I want you to be honest with me please, would you?”  
“Yes I would, you are scaring me a little” He told me scratching his neck.  
I sincerely didn’t know where to start, but I ended up choosing Hina as the first topic to talk about. 

“What’s going on with Hina? Is there something you are not telling us?” I told him and he got tense and serious.  
“You already know everything Max, what makes you think I’m lying?” He told me with a serious voice.  
“I didn’t say you were lying I just thought you were hiding something” I was afraid that he would get really angry with me when I told him that.  
“I’m not hiding anything, what you know is the only truth and there is nothing else to know” He was even more serious now.

“Then, why you're so angry about this? It was just a question” I told him.

“Because you are accusing me of something that is not true” He told me and there it was again, that fucking mask that I hate so much.

“Are you sure it’s not true?” I was playing with fire and I knew it.

“Yes Max I’m sure and besides I don't think that what happens between Hina and me is any of your business” He told me, he was pretty angry at that moment I could hear it in his voice.

“Yes, it actually is, because I can see you are not fine, and that fucking mask that you always wore when someone asks you something like this is pissing me off really bad and besides it’s my problem because you are my friend, one of my best friends and I really care about you and what happens to you” I told him almost shouting.

“I don’t know what mask you are talking about but you have no right in coming to my house and tell my things like this”

“Yes I have it, Kai I’m tired of you shutting yourself up in your fucking world of alcohol and I’m tired of you not talking about things that hurt or bother you, don’t you realize that shutting yourself up in that world of alcohol and depression is not good for you? Do you think I haven’t realized that you are not fine? I’m not stupid Kai”  
“I'm not a kid, I can do what I want Max, you are not my father and I believe that not even my father can tell what to do at this age” He was angry and almost shouting.  
“Just because I’m not your father do you think I don’t have the right to be worried about a friend that is totally unhappy and wants everyone else to believe he is happy?” I told him almost shouting.

“I don’t want everyone to believe I’m happy, I don't know what's happening to you today, Max”  
“Are you going to tell me that you don’t use alcohol to drown your sorrows like if it was the only solution?”  
“That's not your problem, Max; mind your own business, not mine”  
“I have already told you that it is my problem, I don’t like to see you like this Kai, you might be able to fool the others, but not me, and I can see that you are not fine”  
Kai had tears in his eyes; all this hidden pain must be destroying him, for real.  
“You don't understand anything Max” He was still shouting I could see he was getting angrier and angrier.  
“Tell me, what am I not understanding? That your wife is cheating on you and you don’t have the fucking courage to tell that to a friend?” I was shouting as well, I was a little angry too.  
Kai was paralyzed and he was getting pale and that was when I knew that my hypothesis was correct.  
“Wha-what are you saying?” he was stuttering, Kai was stuttering, unbelievable, right?  
“Are you going to deny it?”  
He looked at the ground, took a deep breath and letting a single tear fell he said:  
“I’m not going to deny it, you are right”  
I was feeling so bad for him, this conversation was killing me as much as it was killing him, but I wanted him to talk.   
“Kai I’m so sorry”  
“How did you know?” He asked me.  
We were not shouting anymore.  
“It was not too hard to discover, I mean, you never knew where she was when someone asked you, and you called me so many times to asked me if I could take care of Sara because you couldn’t and you have no idea where Hina was”  
“Ha, it’s true; anyone could’ve realized that, Right?”  
“Anyone who pays a little attention” I told him  
“Why are you still with her?” I asked him later.  
“Only for Sara”  
“For Sara?”  
“I don’t want her to grow up with divorced parents”  
“And is that worth all the pain this situation brings you?”  
“I would do anything for my daughter, one day you will understand it” He told me.  
“How long have you known that?”  
“For more than two years”  
“Kai, two years? How can you stand it?”  
Another tear fell down his cheek. He was looking at the ground again.  
“I can’t stand it Max, I can’t stand it anymore, I’m tired of her lies, and I’m tired of feeling like an idiot”  
Seeing him like that was making me really sad.  
“I’m sure that Sara will understand if you two got divorce”   
“Max, when you have a child you will understand and if you were in my fucking situation you will understand it better”  
“It’s just that I feel that you don't even understand it yourself “  
At that moment Kai looked at me for a second but then without looking at me he said:  
“You are right, I don’t even understand it, but it’s true that in part I’m doing it only for Sara” He told me and I could hear sadness in his voice.  
“Does Hina know that you know that?” I asked him  
“No, she doesn’t know”  
“Oh, Kai”  
“It’s better if she doesn’t know”  
We were silent for a moment but then I asked him:  
“¿And what would you do if Tyson came and told you that he wants to be with you again?” I knew I was playing with fire again, but I had to ask.   
“Max” He told me with such a serious voice and looking at me in a way that if looks could kill I will be already dead.  
“We were talking about Hina” He told me as serious as before.  
“There is nothing more to talk about her, I know now what you were hiding, and I’m really sorry about everything that is happening to you and you also told me that you are still with her only for Sara. I ‘m not going to leave till you answer my question”   
“Then you will be here for a long time, what do you want for dinner?” He told me.  
“Please Kai, I won’t let you change the subject this time, and don’t joke with me I’m being serious”  
Kai took a deep breath and said:  
“What do you want me to say?”  
“The truth Kai, I just want you to be honest… Are you still in love with him?”  
He was not looking at me.  
“Please Max I don’t want to talk about that”  
“Was that a yes?”  
He was getting angry again I could see that, but I didn’t care.  
“No Max, that was a please don’t bother me because I don’t want to be mad at you”  
“Worrying about what happens to you is not bother you, I’m just trying to help you Kai”  
“You are not helping me”  
“It’s not good for you to keep all those things to yourself and there will be a moment when not even alcohol will help you, did you know that?”  
“Stop bringing the alcohol in the conversation, it has nothing to do with it” He was really angry and it was clear in his voice.  
“Yes it has, because I’m worried about you, do you want me to remind you that you wanted to kill yourself while you were drunk four years ago?” I was angry as well.  
“Stop it Max, just shut up, it was a long time ago”  
“I’m not going to stop till you speak to me; this time I don’t want to be the one who finds you the way Rei did”  
He had tears in his eyes again and I was not in better conditions.  
“Max please, stop it” He told me and then he sat on a chair. Then I sat on another chair that was next to him.  
Kai had his elbows on the table and his hands on his face.  
I didn’t say anything for a while and he was the first to speak.  
“Yes” He told me, I was a little confused at first but then he added:  
“I’m still in love with him” I knew that already but hearing it from his mouth was another thing, He had been denying it for more than 6 years and hearing it was a little shocking.  
“Oh, Kai”  
“And if he came and told me that he wants to be with me again I will divorce, for sure and I will be leaving with him, but it’s not easy Max, if that happens it wouldn’t be easy, I don’t know if Hina would let me see Sara if she knew that I’m in love with another man and I’m sure that the justice will be on her side, saying that I would do that is so much more easier than doing it, and besides I don’t know if Tyson still feels the same about me, many years have passed Max”  
“You are right, many years have passed but that doesn’t mean that things have changed, Kai, maybe you will have to take a risk and do it, tell him that you still love him, I don’t think that Hina will prevent you from seeing Sara it won’t even be good for her”  
“I don’t know what to do Max, I don’t know what to do with anything that is going on” He put his hands on his face again, but I could see that another tear was falling from his eyes.  
“Calm down, Kai, you have to think about all this and see what is the best for you I know it’s not easy but there are sometimes when taking risks is the best thing to do, you can't keep going like this”  
“I know that, but I don’t know what to do, I really don’t know, I’m so confused”  
Wanting to change the subject I asked him:  
“And now, are you going to tell me the truth about what happened to your hand?” He looked at me, took a deep breath and told me:  
“I didn’t fell off the bike, I was angry about something and I punched the wall really hard”  
“Oh, Kai, I supposed that might have hurt a lot, I mean, you needed a bandage after that”  
“At the time it didn’t hurt, but after a while it hurt a lot actually”  
I didn’t want to keep asking about that, I supposed it had something to do with everything that is happening in his life right now, and that’s why he was angry and punched the wall.  
“How did you realize it was a lie?” He asked me.  
“Kai, I know perfectly that you hate riding a bike, besides when we went to your house the bike was exactly in the same place as always, you didn’t plan your lie so well”  
“I didn't think that someone would realize about that little detail” He told me.  
“Since I’m being honest now, do you want me tell you why I was so sad and depressed that day four years ago?” The change of subject surprised me a little but then I understood that for the first time in his life he felt the desire of talking about all those things he had never told anyone and that he had kept them for himself.  
“If you are sure you want to tell, yes I do”  
He looked at me and I could see that tears were forming in his eyes again I even saw how a tear fall from his eyes. Seeing him like that was hurting me as well, I had never seen him like this. I always thought that Kai was strong, that nothing hurt him that he didn’t care about anything, but now I see that I was totally wrong. He is as fragile as any other human being.  
“That day I saw Tyson’s wedding invitation, it was on one of the furniture that I used to have and for some reason I grabbed the envelop and opened it but when I take out the invitation I saw that inside the envelop was a paper that I hadn’t seen the first time I opened it”  
He was silent for a few seconds and then he continued:  
“What I’m going to tell you now it’s not exactly what was written on the paper but what really meant what was written”  
He was silent again and I could notice that he was trying not to cry.   
“It just said that he was still in love with me, that he still remembered about us, about me, about our past”  
“And why didn’t you do anything at that moment?” I didn’t understand the situation really well.  
He stared at the wall that was in front of him for a while and without looking at me he said:  
“Because I read the paper late, three months late, by the time I had read it, he was already married and his wife was pregnant”  
When I heard that, I could understand everything, I imagine that it was not easy for him to read that and realize that it was too late, it must have destroyed him.  
“Oh, Kai, I don’t really know what to say” I was speechless; I can’t even imagine how he must have felt at that moment.  
“The only way I could find to forget about the pain was drinking and drinking, I was not expecting anyone at my house that day, Rei was supposes to arrive here two days after that”  
He was still looking at the wall and more tears were falling from his eyes, I was not wrong when I said that keeping all that to himself was killing him inside.   
He put his hands on his face again and started to cry even more  
“I can’t stand it anymore Max, I can’t keep going like this, and I just want to wake up and realize that all this is just a bad dream”  
At that moment I stood up and went to where he was, I didn’t know what to say so I just hugged him and told him:  
“Kai, everything will get better, you will see” Seeing him like that was really killing me, I love Kai as the big brother I never had, seeing him like that was not easy for me.  
“Thanks Max, for everything”  
“You don’t have to thanks me, that's what friends are for and I’m going to be here for you every time you need it”  
“I know Max, it’s just that sometimes it’s hard for me to understand and accept that I need someone else”  
“I know, and that's why I was so persistent today”  
I could see that he was really hurt; I can even imagine how he must be feeling in this moment. I have never been in a situation like the one he is in. I wish I could help him somehow, but the only one who has the power to change his life is just him.  
I always knew that Hina wasn’t a good person, I really never like her, since the first day I met her I could see that she was not the kind of person that would like to have a stable relationship. However after a while I grown accustomed to her, to her presence and finally I ended up accepting her, but now I know that I was not wrong and she actually is everything I thought she was, now I feel resentment toward her, it could be say that I feel hate toward her for everything she is doing to the friend I consider my brother.


End file.
